The Lie I Live
by The Shadows Will
Summary: Not all of Minato died that night, not all of Naruto survived. Inspired by jbern's "The Lie I've Lived".


The Lie I Lived.

The concept of this story is from jbern's 'The Lie I've Lived', one of my all time favorite stories. I am using it with their permission. If you haven't read any of his work I wholeheartedly suggest you do. There is a link under my favorite authors section on my page. I would really like to see this project to fruition but I'm not the most consistent writer.

So yeah I reread the part of the manga in preparation for this and I got to say at the time it was written Kishimoto still had balls. Now it's become a bunch of friendship drivel. Parts of this chapter were taken directly from the manga plagiarism be damned. Whatever, on with the show.

**This story was written with the idea that any readers would be familiar with the Naruto universe.**

* * *

Chapter 1

"Yes! It's here, it's here!" Naruto yelled as his name flashed across the board. He no longer had to sit on the sideline. Now he could show these bunch of losers how it's really done. He would look so cool as he beat dog breath into the ground. And then Sakura would see that he was so much better than Sasuke.

"Haha! Lucky us." Kiba laughed. "We can definitely beat this loser can't we boy." He said to his faithful companion Akamaru. "Dead last won't know what hit him. The white puppy gave a bark in agreement.

Meanwhile a green spandex boy despaired it seemed that he would never get his chance to prove himself to his and show that a genius of hard work can do great things.

"Will the contestants please come down so we can proceed?" The raspy voice of the sickly looking proctor sounded.

Both boys jumped down from the walkway and ran over to the starting position in front of the proctor.

"The seventh match Naruto Uzumaki vs. Kiba Inuzuka!" The dark haired proctor said before bursting into a fit of coughing.

"It's like we already won! So luck eh, Akamaru?"

They were belittling him again. "Shut the hell up!" He was Naruto Uzumaki damn it the future Hokage. They couldn't talk about him like that. "And get rid of that puppy he's in the way." He said pointing to the small white dog in Kiba's arms.

Akamaru let out a low growl in response. "You idiot he's going to fight with me." Setting the dog on the ground his fur started to bristle as he glared and continued to growl at Naruto.

"Hey is that allowed?" Naruto asked the proctor.

"Both dogs and insects are considered ninja tools so there is no problem." These kids kept getting stupider and stupider every year. How could this little idiot not know that an Inuzuka fight with the aid of their hounds? Not only were they getting dumber but weaker too. Those two useless girls that knocked each other out were undeniable proof. The pink haired one he could understand, but a Yamanaka should have done better.

Fine so Kiba needed help, he was just that weak. "Whatever you need the help." The orange clan ninja said to his opponent.

"You know what you're so weak I don't need Akamaru's help. Boy I'll take him on alone." The dog whined in response.

Back up on the walkways more verbal jousting was taking place. "Sorry Kakashi but there is no way that Kiba is going to lose." The red eyed beauty that led team 8 said to the lay faced Jonin. From all accounts the boy only got as far as he had on dumb luck and the good graces of the Hokage.

"I don't know about that, Naruto is a very surprising kid." The man seemed completely unworried. It would probably do his student good to lose, maybe it would make him see that there were stronger people out there and he needed to take his training seriously. Or not, there really was no telling with this kid.

At the far end of the room the Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi stood surrounded by his body guards. He looked resigned to the situation. "Well at the very least this should be interesting." He said mostly to himself.

"In theory he should destroy the Inuzuka." The scantily clad form of Anko Mitarashi said. "But from everything I've seen he's going to be put down hard." Almost every adult that was in the know agreed with her on this.

"Are both contestants ready?" Hayate Gekko asked. Naruto standing across from Kiba nodded.

Kiba too gave sign of consent as his mind flashed through everything he knew about the orange clad idiot. The fool had to undergo extra years in the academy because he was so bad. After three years he had still been unable to perform a proper henge. No matter how much stronger he had gotten over the years he would still be worthless.

"Then begin." The proctor said before jumping away.

Immediately Kiba dropped to all fours. "Four leg technique." He said as his nails grew longer and dangerously sharp. His canine teeth elongated and his face took on a wild appearance.

Before Naruto had time to understand what he was witnessing Kiba disappeared from where he stood. Only to reappear with both his knee and elbow embedded in Narutos sternum. The force of the blow sent the blonde tumbling away. He did not get up.

Everyone in the room had the same thought on their mind. And it was Kankuro of the Desert that voiced it. "That was really lame."

Shakily the downed boy got to his feet. "Don't underestimate me!" He roared with fire in his eyes.

"Dude you have blood coming out of your mouth stop acting tough." Kiba responded with Akamaru barking in agreement.

"I let you hit me so I could test your strength." He declared a bloody smile on his face. But realistically he had not even seen Kiba move. One second he was on his hands and feet and the next he was delivering pain. "And you should also stop acting tough, use your dog too."

Letting loose a primal growl Kiba lowered his stance again. "Let's go Akamaru." Both he and the dog shot forward. Right before they reached the awaiting Naruto they both disappeared in a cloud of smoke that billowed out completely enveloping Naruto.

"Where are yo-" Naruto started before a multitude of blows started raining upon him. He had to get out of the smoke before they overwhelmed him. As he burst through the cover of the smoke he found the form of Akamaru hurtling through the air at his face. Bringing up his arm to shield himself the force of the dog barreling into him forced them back into the smoke. The sound of growling and the pain filled voice of Naruto filled the arena.

As the smoke cleared the still form of Naruto could be seen lying in the fetal position, Akamaru sat nearby with a smug look on his face. "Good job boy! You did it!" Kiba exclaimed as Akamaru ran over to him. Just before the dog reached him the smell did. And it allowed him to get his arm up in defense before the dogs jaws found him. As the full weight of his attacker hit him the dog burst into smoke. The jaws clamped around his arm were not those of his companion but of Naruto.

Letting out a grunt of pain Kiba figured it out. "You used a Henge when you were in the smoke. What did you do to Akamaru?!"

"Over here!" Said the voice of the once unmoving form of Naruto as he held the dog up by its legs.

"What two of you?!" Kiba said looking between the two of them. "Fine it looks like I actually have to get serious.

Why does a kid know a technique like that? A solid clone? The thoughts of the Jonin in the room coincided. What had Kakashi done?

"Whatever." Kiba said as he discreetly flicked something small and black towards his dog who quickly snapped it up. "Here I come!"

Instantly Akamaru's fur turned a dazzling color of red and he wrenched himself free from the grasp of the clone and scampered up upon Kiba's back. In a burst of smoke another Kiba sat sitting on the firsts back. "Human Beast Clone." Said the one on the bottom.

"He just took something isn't that doping?" Naruto turned and asked the proctor.

"Nope it's a ninja tool, it's allowed." And in a burst of speed the two Kiba's disappeared and then reappeared both full body checking Naruto who went tumbling. He rolled and came back up on his feet running away from his two opponents.

Damn he had to get some distance between them but they were faster than him. Even with him pumping chakra through his legs to augment his speed.

"See how big the difference is between us!" Kiba yelled as both of them shot forward contorting their bodies. Then suddenly they twisted and became two drills that charged forward. "Piercing Fangs!"

They hit him together and their claws tore into his flesh. Elbows and knees repeatedly hit him and then he was blown clean away. He came to a stop in a bloody heap. "Ca-cant gi-give up, I'm th-the next Hokage!" Naruto said rising slowly.

"You become Hokage?! Ha you are too weak to be anything other than dead last."

"Get up Naruto!" Sakura shouted from the balcony.

Shakily he got up and stood ready to meet his foes.

"You don't know when to give up. Piercing Fangs." A Kiba said before both turned into twisters that roared towards Naruto.

"The same trick won't work twice." The blonde exclaimed before jumping straight up and over the two drills. He had to figure a way to stop them to interrupt their teamwork. Just as the two Kiba's came to a stop and changed directions to attack again the idea hit him. Funneling extra chakra for the technique he vanished in a large cloud of smoke.

Right as the smoke dispersed and the two drills impacted they stopped and stared at their foe. A third Kiba was looking back at both of them with a confused look on his face. Evidently Naruto thought he could confuse them into attacking each other. But he was wrong. "You can change your appearance but not your smell!" One yelled as he lashed out and delivered a devastating punch to the origin of the smell. An odor of ramen and sweat.

"You can't fool me twice with the same trick." He said as the laid out Kiba burst into smoke. But the form that was revealed as the smoke dispersed was not Naruto but of an unconscious Akamaru. No that fool must have somehow disguised his sent. Quickly he reeled around and put all his weight into another devastating punch.

And this time when the smoke cleared it was Nar…Akamaru?! But if that was… then turning around he found himself on the receiving end of a full force drop kick the sent him sliding back on all fours.

"Ha, think before using a jutsu or it will get used against you!" Naruto said triumphantly. "And don't fall for such obvious traps."

That freakin Naruto had duped him, he had allowed himself to fall for such a stupid trap. A henge of all things! No he had to calm down he couldn't allow himself to start following his opponents flow. He just had to calm down and think. With his Four Legs technique he was faster than Naruto, much faster. All he had to do was to get behind the idiot and finish him in one hit.

He lowered himself into position. "Alright Naruto I'm ending it here."

"Finally taking me seriously? Fine then I'll show you my new secret Jutsu." Naruto said as he formed a basic hand form.

What he has a trump? Fine then I'll just have to end things quickly thought Kiba. Blitzing forward with everything he had Kiba was going to make sure that Naruto went down. Dipping to the right just before Naruto's reach he circled around to have a clear shot at his back.

"Your mine now!" Kiba yelled as he thrust his sharpened nails at his opponents exposed kidney. Only he didn't hit anything, just thin wisps of smoke. "Wa?" He said as his lunge had overextended him left his balance shaky. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Naruto attached to the nearby wall. Desperately Kiba tried to right himself but it was too late.

"Coming at you!" Naruto yelled as he sprang forward and land a blow to Kibas face that left him seeing stars and reeling. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto yelled as he produced three clones. Two shot forward and dropped under Kiba's line of sight only to rock back and send to mighty kicks up into Kiba's stomach. Collapsing around their feet Kiba was lifted off the ground and into the air. The other clone had been used to cradle the original Naruto's foot and throw him into the air.

Then they came together, Naruto/s falling fist with Kiba's rising head. With a resounding crack they collided and Kiba came hurtling down.

As both the clones dispersed it was clear that there was only one conscious contender. One very tired and beaten up contender but conscious all the same.

Walking over to the downed combatant Hayate checked on Kiba's state. "Winner Naruto Uzumaki." He said between coughs.

"I did it!" Exclaimed as he ran around excitedly.

"Told you it would be interesting." The Hokage whispered to Anko.

"Who knew Kakashi taught him Shunsnin? I didn't see any of the others using it. Glad I didn't bet on this match." She replied.

Naruto had just returned to his team. "Sakura Kakashi Lee aren't I awesome? I beat that mutt good." He exclaimed happily.

"Your match was most exciting my friend." Lee replied.

"Naruto you're barely standing." Kakashi said flatly.

"This, this is nothing." He said as his balance waivered a bit.

"Naruto don't be so dense you barely won!" Sakura corrected him.

"Just curious but where did you learn Shunshin?" Kakashi asked. "Did Iruka teach it to you?"

"Shunshin? What's that?" Naruto asked naively.

"That's the name of the technique you used to dodge Kiba's attack. Its normally only taught to Chunin." Kakashi supplied.

"Never heard of it. I just really wanted to move out of the way and I did. I'm just that awesome, Naruto the next Hokage." He said proudly.

Number one most unexpected ninja of all time. Kakashi thought to himself.

"Um...N-naruto…?"A small voice said from behind him. Turning around he saw the form of Hinata Hyuuga and she had a small ceramic container in hand. "I…uh…want you to have this." She said quietly while presenting him with the container.

Taking hold of it he gave it a once over. "What is it?"

"Medicinal cream, it should help with the smaller cuts." Kurenai Yuuhi supplied looking far too amused for having one of her students lose just minutes earlier.

"Really thank you." Naruto said before opening up the container and applying some to a scratch on his hand. Unknown to most the scratch started to heal instantly.

"We are going to start the eighth match." Hayate said from the contest floor. Everyone turned to the board in anticipation for the next round of fighting. But the results of said board brought a sharp intake of breath from some in the room. "Neji Hyuuga and Hinata Hyuuga please come down."

After those words the rest of the day seemed to go by in an instant for Naruto. Hinata had with a little encouragement managed to stand up to her cousin and meet him in combat. Though the resulting fight left her in critical condition and almost death if not for the interference of four Konoha Jonin. Naruto had swore to avenge her defeat in the next round of the competition.

The next fight was probably the most polarizing and terrifying. From the very get go everyone had known that the short red haired kid was dangerous. What they didn't know was to what extent and now they knew. The speed and power that Lee demonstrated left everyone in stunned silence to everyone but the most experienced of warrior the boy was nothing but a green blur. An unstoppable hurricane of fists and knees. It was clear that he was by far the most powerful Genin from Konoha, disappearing in flashes of speed and breaking through Gaara ultimate shield. But even surpassing the limits of his human body could not bring him victory. His death was all but assured as a wave of sand was sent forth to crush him into a fine paste. It was due to the timely interference of Might Guy that spared his life. He was able to leave the arena with only a crushed arm and leg.

The final match for the day was between the weirdo from sound and Choji Akamichi. It was clearly an uneven match as Dosu quickly took care of the young Konoha nin with hardly any effort.

Afterwards the Hokage had explained the final stage of the Chunin exam. It would end with a tournament in front of many spectators and more than a few prospective employers. The day had concluded with lots being drawn for the final round of matches that were to come after a month's time. Naruto facing Neji in the first match much too both boys eagerness. Sasuke against Gaara which would probably be the highlight of the day. For the third match it was to be Shino Aburame and Kankuro of the desert neither boy gave any indication if they were excited by the prospect. The fourth match would be Dosu versus Shikamaru which would no doubt be a bizarre match. And due to the odd amount of people Temari would be getting a pass for the first round, an outcome that she looked rather displeased with judging by the look in her eyes.

* * *

Naruto was troubled. First off he would be facing that Hyuuga bastard and after he beat him then it was going to be either Sasuke or the sand weirdo. Either of which would be difficult. He couldn't let this month go without training his ass off. He needed someone's help. "Sakura where's Kakashi?" He asked after not seeing the lazy Jonin anywhere.

"He said he had something to do so he's probably with Sasuke." Sakura supplied. With their Sensei just up and leaving it seemed like the logical place for him to be.

"Thanks Sakura Chan. Alright, to the hospital!"

"What do you mean I can't see Sasuke?! I'm his team mate." Naruto yelled to the nurse at the front desk of the hospital. They were refusing him access to Sasuke, for no reason. He had always despised hospitals all those needles and poking and prodding and bad tasting medicine. This was just further proof that they were evil incarnate. "Just tell me where his room is." Naruto yelled in frustration.

"As I said before Sasuke-Sama is not being allowed any visitors right now." The nurse said politely if not a little strained.

"Naruto be quiet in a hospital." The voice of team sevens sensei said before he rounded a corner and came into view.

"Oh Kakashi! I have a favor to ask you."

"No need to tell me I already know what you're going to ask. And as it happens I found someone who will look after your training."

"Whu-wu-why Kakashi I want you!" Naruto demanded. This guy was his damned teacher wasn't it about time he taught actually him something!

"I have some things I need to take care of for most of the month so I don't have time to look after you."

"You're planning to train Sasuke aren't you!?" He accused knowingly. Sas-Uke was always getting special treatment.

"Now don't say that, I found you somebody that specializes in teaching. And he's much more reliable than me." Sasuke did have to fight that monster, it would be morally irresponsible for him to throw the Uchiha to the metaphorical wolves.

"And who is that?!" Naruto shot back.

"It's me." Another hauntingly familiar voice said.

Turning around Naruto was faced with a face he did not want to see again. "It's you the closet pervert!" He shouted pointing excitedly.

Ebisu did not appear to look happy at being called a pervert in public. "Ebisu's is a closet pervert?" Kakashi asked curiously. Just when you thought you knew a guy.

"Why hell did you pick him? He can't teach me anything I'm already stronger than him."Naruto shouted once more at the top of his lungs. "I already beat him with my Harem Jut-"He was quickly silenced as Ebisu clamped a hand over his mouth and put him in a hold.

"I'll treat you to any food later is you just be quiet!" Ebisu whispered in Naruto's ear. The promise of food was enough to shut him up for now.

Kakashi was just looking on in a confused state. Harem Jutsu? What the hell is a Harem Jutsu? "So you know each other?" He said looking between the two excitable people in the hall. That nurse at the front desk was shooting them all some really dirty looks. It was probably time they moved on. "Now Naruto Ebisu here is a tutor that specializes in teaching elites. He's a Special Jonin you know so he's much more qualified to train you. And with you being the one on team seven with the most basic skills I thought having him teach you would be the best thing."

"Ha in what way am I worse than Sasuke and Sakura?" Naruto asked smugly.

"From what Kakashi tells me you have no Taijutsu skills, a limited inventory of Ninjutsu, no Genjutsu to speak of and have serious difficulty controlling your chakra. Now if you take a look these charts." Ebisu said before pulling out a small stack of paper. Each had simple pictures and diagrams. He then began to go into detail about how chakra was made and how Naruto's lack of skill was detrimental. He finished by explaining in detail to Naruto his training regimen for the next month. The end result.

"I don't get it." He said scratching the back of his head.

Letting out a deep sigh Ebisu resigned himself. Damn that Kakashi forcing him to train this idiot and then sneaking off during his carefully prepared presentation. It seemed that only the practical application of his training would have any impact. "It will be dark in a few hours, so go home do whatever you would normally do and then tomorrow meet me in front of the Hokage tower at eight."

"Okay. So what are we going to do?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Just meet me tomorrow." Ebisu said before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"I wonder if he is going to teach me that?"

* * *

Blood. So much blood. A battlefield? Desperation hung in the air. Then it changed. Graduation from the ninja academy, he was being hailed as a prodigy. It changed again. A woman with red hair and a fiery temper. It all dissolved into to red eyes. Two blood red eyes the size of small houses and a feeling of utter dread seeped into every bone in his body.

* * *

**30 Days to the Chunin exam**

He woke up with a start. He was in his apartment, he could see the faded wallpaper even in the not quite light of the early morning. He was covered from head to toe in a cold sweat. What was with those dreams?... That was the last time he was ever eat expired ramen before bed. Looking over he saw it was just past five in the morning. Well he wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon. So he got up and went to take a shower and wash off the sweat.

It took five minutes before the water started to come out as anything warmer than freezing. His entire apartment complex was falling apart, if it wasn't broke it would be within the next month or so. Faulty wiring, old water heater, leaky pipes, broken locks. But he had become accustomed to fixing things no one was going to help him so he had from a young age learned to do things for himself. It was probably better that he could do basic maintenance you never know when you're going to need it.

He got out of the shower and dried himself off. It took him a couple minutes to locate clean clothes in the warzone of his bedroom but once he did he was dressed in his trademark orange ensemble. If he was going to start training today then he might as well get started.

His thoughts were interrupted as a low rumbling made itself known. He was hungry, he was always hungry. He could eat and eat and he would never seem to get full, much to the chagrin of Choji whenever there was a food eating contest.

Looking in his dingy little kitchen he found ramen, ramen and surprise surprise ramen. Well there was some expired milk but it was closer on its way to becoming cheese than it was to being actual milk. While ramen was awesome and everything he just wasn't feeling it this morning. Maybe he could go to that small bakery that wouldn't throw him out on premise.

Deciding on his course of action he grabbed his wallet a bandolier of kunai a handful of shuriken and set out for the day. Before leaving he took note of the old clock he had scrounged from the garbage. It read six o seven.

* * *

He let out a tremendous yawn, it was too damn early for training. He should have tried to go back to sleep. Ten o-clock sounds much better. After grabbing breakfast he decided to start training he had to beet that arrogant bastard into the ground for Hinata. He found a deserted little back alley not too far from the Hokage tower. He started with some basic stretches till he was limbered up.

Forming his favorite cross shaped hand seal he focused his chakra and his mind. Eight clones. "Shadow clone jutsu." He said and in a cloud of smoke eight clones appeared. For the next hour he trained the only way he knew how he brawled. The Shadow clones were probably not the best type of clones to train with seeing as how when they received any hit they would immediately dispel. But it gave him one heck of a work out. All the dodging and jumping the blocking the retreating the advancing. It all got his blood pumping and his muscles screaming. The other upside of this type of training was he found that he was always a lot more aware of his immediate surroundings. He had to be otherwise one of his clones would come out of nowhere and ring his dome.

As the last of his clones dispelled he flopped on the ground gasping for breath. Looking around he saw that the sky had lightened drastically it was probably about time to meet his private trainer. It felt good to have something wholly to himself. Even though that bastard Kakashi had pushed him off on Ebisu so he could train Sasuke it felt nice knowing that someone was doing something just for you.

* * *

"What have you been doing?" Ebisu said taking in the blonde's disheveled appearance.

"Training."

"Fine just follow me."

"So why did you drag me to the hot springs?" Naruto asked while looking around. His eyes lingered a little too long at a small gap in the wall separating the men's bath from the women's.

"We are here to train." Said Ebisu while pushing up his glasses, probably trying to look cool.

"Okay…how?"

"We are going to walk."

"…Walk?" Clearly this nut job was crazy. How would walking make him stronger?

"On top of the water." He said gesturing to the natural hot spring of scalding hot water which fed the local businesses. The water was heated somewhere underground and came bubbling up to the surface where some people had built hotels and baths around.

Yep this guy was certifiably insane. Walk on water that's just craz…

Ebisu preceded to step out over the steaming pool and stood perfectly still on the surface of the water.

"Huh? How are you doing that? There has to be a trick. Am I being punked?" Naruto said as he examined the area for anything suspicious.

"I've heard from Kakashi that you already know how to climb trees with chakra. Well this is the next step to controlling your chakra. In tree climbing you gather the necessary amount of chakra to the bottom of your feet and use it to adhere to the surface. That exercise is about finding the necessary balance of chakra and maintaining it." Ebisu said as he walked back onto solid ground.

"That sounds kind of familiar." Naruto mused as he tried to recall his trip to wave.

"Since water is not solid and prone to changing you need to constantly adjust the amount of chakra you produce. You must only use the right amount, too much and it will disrupt your balance, too little and you will sink. This technique is used to train your control of expelling chakra to use in jutsu."

"I still don't get it." Naruto said while scratching his head.

This was going to be a very long thirty days. Kakashi was going to have to owe him for this. "Then I'll walk you through it. First you gather chakra to your feet." He assumed the most basic chakra gathering hand form. "Then you continually expel a set amount as your foot hits the water you match your output to your body wei… use enough so that the water feels solid." He said as he slowly set one foot on the surface then shifted his weight till he was completely standing over the water.

"Wow let me try!" Quickly putting his hands into the chakra focusing sign he gathered chakra to his feet. Lightly he put one foot out onto the surface of the water, as it touched he could feel resistance from the water. It was almost as if it was solid ground.

"IT'S HOOOOOTTTT!" Naruto yelled as he sank as far as his knee and then bolted back to land.

"It is a hot spring after all. We are using the hot water as an extra incentive for you to stay on the surface." It was almost impressive that his new student hadn't fallen in straight away. Usually when trying a new training method like this the person outright fails the first time. "Now try again."

"Alright just hold on a sec…. What the?!"Naruto said as something caught his eye.

Ebisu turning to see what caught his newest students attention saw a man staring intently at the woman's side wall of a nearby hot spring. He recognized the man instantly, any ninja worth his salt knew him. Jiraya of the Sanin, the Toad Hermit, the Third Hokage's student, Konoha's strongest military and Intelligence asset. Unfortunately he was also a self-proclaimed super pervert. It was said that the stronger you were as a ninja the weirder you were.

"I cannot let this stand!" Ebisu said as he charged forth to confront the peeping tom.

Sensing someone trying to ruin his attempt at research the man the man resolved to stop them using the least amount of effort as possible. Swiping his thumb across his teeth he drew blood and quickly focused chakra into that hand. Then he was instantly shrouded in a cloud of smoke.

It was to Ebisu's surprise that a pink and spongy rope shot out and quickly wrapped securely around him? Not a rope as he discovered as the smoke cleared. A tongue of a giant toad. Jiraya sat atop his summoned companion with an annoyed look on his face. And then the familiar promptly smashed him into the ground rendering him unconscious. "Whatcha gonna do if I get caught?" He said from his toad.

The closet pervert lost? Well that's not really surprising, he already lost to the Harem Jutsu. "You better not have knocked him out you pervert!" Naruto Yelled as he ran over to his tutor. Only to find him completely unresponsive, even after a strong slap to the face and a foot to the ribs. "Who the hell are you?! And what the hell is that frog?!" Naruto yelled accusingly.

"Thanks for asking. Mt. Myobokugama's holy Master Sennin, Also known as the Toad Sennin! Remember it!" Jiraya said accompanied by an awkward little dance finishing in a pose.

"Sennin?" What da fuck?

The man jumped from his amphibian friend before it dispersed into smoke. "Hey you pervert, what did you do to him?! He was supposed to train me, now look at him!" Naruto yelled at the offending man.

"He got in the way of my noble work!" The older man said.

"Work?" What kind of work could peeping on women possibly be?

"I am a writer of a popular series, you may know it as." Digging into his robes for something. Quickly he thrust his prize out triumphantly. A small orange book titled 'Come Come Paradise'.

That book looked familiar, really familiar. Like it was something you would see every day but had grown numb to it almost like an annoying… "That perverted book that Kakashi's always reading!" Naruto bellowed in fear disgust and deep down inside envy? "That's a nasty book!" The Toad Sennin almost looked offended by that.

"And what do you mean by work? All you were doing is peeping into the woman's bath you pervert! If you were my age it would be a prank, but an old dirty man doing it is totally a crime!"

Now the Sennin did look insulted. "You little fool! IAM NOT JUST A PERVERT! Peeping gives me inspiration to write a better nov-"

"You LIAR! What a lame excuse! Now what am I going to do about my training!?" Naruto yelled back.

"Training? You mean water walking? That's kids stuff." He said dismissively.

Under normal circumstances Naruto would then force the man to make up for what he had done and teach him. But…the man just rubbed him the wrong way.

Reaching into his tool belt he withdrew a small pencil and scroll. Part of the supplies Kakashi said was needed on his person at all time. Taking the scroll and pencil he wrote a short sentence and rolled the scroll up. "You have forced me to do this."

"Ha what can a stupid little kid like you possibly do?!"

"Just this." Bringing his hands together he focused his chakra in just the right way. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke. And when it dissipated a small unremarkable boy stood there. "Henge." Naruto said as he lobbed the scroll over the closest fence.

"Huh?" the man said. How was that going to- oh that's the women's baths. Damn.

Suddenly the wall separating the baths and the street fell down. Behind it was a wall of pissed off looking women each wrapped in towels and bearing blunt objects.

Putting on his most innocent child face Naruto approached the nearest woman. It was the tears that sold it. "Miss this m-man was looking through a h-hole in the wall and t-touching himself in bad places. He's really scary." He got out in between sobs. The woman instantly pulled Naruto into a hug.

As he watched the kid get pulled into the comforting bosom of the toweled woman he caught sight of a malicious grin just peaking out of the boys face. "Son of a bitch." He said quietly to himself as he slowly started to back away.

"Kill him!" One of the women yelled, and judging by the evidence of muscle one of the shinobi in the group.

"I shall remember this you brat." Jiraya said as he starting sprinting away from the decidedly angry women. Said women started to chase him with thoughts ranging from torture to castration.

All that was left was Naruto standing with a satisfied grin and Ebisu buried under the collapsed fence. "Don't mess with the master." He said before grabbing his tutor's one protruding limb and dragging him away.

* * *

"Oy Teuchi, pork Ramen and keep them comin." Naruto yelled as he came into view of his favorite food stand.

"Oh Naruto good to see you, it will be right out." He didn't both to comment on how his best customer was dragging what appeared to be a shinobi behind him. The kid was weird, you either accepted it or not.

"It's all on this guy today, so make everything extra-large." Ebisu awoke to find himself sprawled on the ground staring at the sky. Within his immediate vicinity was a small ramen stand. Upon the counter stood a stack of twelve empty bowls of ramen towering over him. He found his wallet discarded and empty on the ground next to him. An animated Naruto was eagerly chatting away with the young waitress behind the counter while an older man looked on with a smile. "Kakashi is going to owe me his first born after this." He said aloud startling Naruto from his conversation.

"Oh that's right closet pervert here was going to train me but that stupid frog guy knocked him out."

"You get into the strangest situations Naruto." The brown haired waitress said her voice laced with mirth.

"When I said I'd treat you to lunch I didn't mean you could clean me out." Letting out a sigh he just resigned himself to his fate. "Let's just get this over with so I can get on with my life. There's a pond in the park in the western side of the city do you know it?"

Naruto had to think for a moment but he did remember a park that he used to play at when he was younger. "Yeah I know it."

"Meet me there in ten minutes." Quickly he took off and ran straight up a nearby wall then took to the roofs where he quickly disappeared from view.

"That was kind of cool. Well thanks for the food I'll see you later." Naruto said before taking off down a nearby alley.

"Hes always so energetic." The girl wondered aloud as she watched him take off.

* * *

"Arg! Why is this so hard?!" Naruto screamed while standing waist deep in the pond. All of the park goers had long since disappeared once the blonde had started to make a racket. It was a small place maybe an acre or two of grass with a moderately sized sandbox and a small jungle gym. The small pond was tucked away in the corner. At its deepest it barely hit four feet deep.

"If it was easy it would be taught to academy students." Ebisu said from dry ground. He stood there arms crossed and a small smile on his face. "Try again."

"Uhg."Naruto grunted before wading to shore. "I'm completely drenched." From the multiple attempts at walking across the pond had got him no less that wet from head to toe. "This is just in the way." He said as he unzipped his trademark orange jacket and threw it on dry ground. His white shirt soon followed.

Hes lean. Ebisu observed. No fat to speak of despite his eating habits. He had power behind those muscles but hardly any speed. That's something that will need to change. He was on the small side, his poor diet thus far probably had something to do with it. Or it could be genetics, but seeing as he was an orphan there would be no way to know.

Naruto stepped up to the water's edge and started focusing hos chakra. Almost immediately a mark started to appear on his stomach. A spiral with two sets of four spikes of indistinguishable writing. That was how the seal was supposed to look but as Naruto kept focusing more of the seal was revealed. Five flame like marks surrounded the whole seal. "That's not good." Each shinobi to make the rank of Jonin was given a briefing about the biju located inside Naruto Uzumaki. If anything were to happen to it they were to immediately locate the highest ranking officer possible.

"Huh?" Naruto stopped focusing on his chakra and turned to see what his tutor had to say. "What?"

"Put your clothes back on we need to see the Hokage."

"What? Why do we nee"

"Now!" He interrupted. His tone left no room for compromise.

* * *

"We need to see the Hokage, its an emergency." Ebisu said tersely to the secretary outside the Hokage's office.

"I'm sorry Jonin Ebisu but he's in a meeting with the head of T and I." T and I, Konoha's Torture and Interrogation unit. Led by Ibiki Morino one of the most frightening men working in the Land of Fire. He was renowned and feared for the ability to get information from anyone without having to break a single bone.

"I was told he was not to be disturbed even by him." She said nodding at Naruto who was known to have a habit of barging in to the Hokage's office wherever he wanted to.

"Just tell him the seal is compromised."

Her eyes gave a nervous flicker over to Naruto who was busy staring out a nearby window. Quickly she turned to a machine sitting on the corner of her desk. She depressed a button on it. "Hokage-sama Jonin Ebisu says the seal is compromised."

As quick as lightning the door to the Hokages office burst open and the old man came marching out. The Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi was one of the longest reigning Kages in the whole of the Elemental Nations. He was a warrior that was so feared on the battlefield that he was given the moniker 'The God of Shinobi'. And he looked every in that name as he swept out of his office. Followed close behind him was Ibiki Morino, a man of large stature and frightening appearance.

"What's the situation?" The old man commanded. The volume and tone shook Naruto from his view of the window.

"While training I observed the seal was altered. I came to you as soon as possible. Sir." Ebisu said while standing straight as a rail.

"Naruto Ebisu, my office now." Ordered the old man. They quickly walked in and shut the door leaving Ibiki and a nervous secretary alone.

"Send a general alert to all shinobi. 'Situation BADLAND authorization 39B743T6." Said the head of T and I before marching out of the room.

* * *

"Naruto shirt off." Sarutobi ordered.

"What's going on?" He was so confused, just as he was starting to get that stupid exercise his tutor had all but dragged him here. And now the old man looked like he was on the war path something Naruto had never seen.

"Naruto this is a direct order. Shirt off." There was a dangerous look in his eyes as he said that. The will of an old warrior was still with him.

Quickly Naruto took his damp jacket and shirt off. "Focus your chakra."

Still confused out of his mind Naruto shut his eyes and started to focus his chakra. Like earlier today it felt sluggish and it moved in jumps and starts.

The Hokage released a deep breath. "Kuma signal 'Situation All Clear, Authorization 9HJ92537." From within the shadows of the Hokages office a man dressed in all black emerged. His only distinguishing feature was a white mask with a likeness of a bear painted on it. As soon as he appeared he vanished, no smoke no leaves just gone. Looking down at the focus of everyone's interest Naruto saw the strange marks on his stomach.

"That wasn't there this morning. Where the heck did these come from?" He had never seen these things before and he had no clue who could have put them there without his knowing. Though for some reason he felt a wave of déjà vu, it was almost like he remembered them from a forgotten dream. But as his concentration on his chakra slipped so did the appearance of the symbols. "Wait is that the thing that keeps the fox inside?"

"Yes Naruto. Ebisu good work would you please wait outside?"

"Yes sir." He said before he turned on the spot and left the room.

"Put your shirt back on and please sit down we need to talk." The Hokage said before he too sat down at his desk and took up his unlit pipe. With a snap of his fingers his thumb was alight, he used it to light his pipe and began puffing away.

"Every Jonin ranked Shinobi is briefed on your condition." He watched Naruto's face morph as a slew of emotions flew across it. "They are informed of what your seal is supposed to look like at all times and ordered to report to me should they see anything wrong with it. Ebisu did just that. It appears that someone has added another layer to the original seal. Do you understand?"

"Um yeah." Not really but it sounded important.

"Naruto we can't have anyone altering or tampering with the seal that holds the Kyuubi. If it were to be released it would be catastrophic. We barely survived the last encounter." Images of burning buildings and desperate cries for help flashed through his mind. "This new layer is called the Five Elements Seal. It is a very powerful technique, and fairly rare. There are probably only a handful of people in the world that even heard of it, let alone have the knowledge and ability to use it. For someone to apply it they would have to be very close to you and the application would be very painful." Seeing the blank look on his young friends face he simplified. "So what I'm asking is, who did this to you?"

Naruto tried to think of who could have done it. Someone had to have gotten close to him to use it and it was supposed to hurt when used? The last time someone had done anything like that to him had been back during the second round of the exams. "It might have been that snake guy?"

Sarutobi looked startled for a second before his calm returned. "Snake guy?"

"Yeah there was this snake guy who attacked us in the forest." Naruto told him the whole story from the time when team seven entered the forest to when they arrived at the tower. "He was really interested in Sasuke."

Pulling a long drag from his pipe Sarutobi slowly let the smoke out. "That would be Orochimaru, my former apprentice."

"You're what?"

"Many years ago I had a Genin team. Orochimaru was a prodigy at a young age far more so than Sasuke. As the years passed he turned cruel and hateful until one day he left Konoha to pursue his own goals and in the process became a missing nin." The Hokage had a faraway look on his face as he remembered his student who had become lost along the way to greatness.

"Why did he come after Sasuke?" Naruto looked sad and confused.

"My former student wishes to master every Ninjutsu in the world. And if he were to possess Sasuke's Sharingan it would be a significantly easier goal to accomplish. But the real question is why didn't he kill you and Sakura?"

"Kill us?" Naruto looked scared now.

"There are very few in this world who could face Orochimaru in a fight and come out alive. That he merely neutralized you leaves many questions." And none of them can have a good answer.

"But isn't it a good thing that he put another seal on the fox?" Naruto was back to confused, it was surprising that this boy didn't get whiplash from how fast he changed emotions.

"Yes and no, with the seal in place it makes it even less likely that the fox will break out. But then again this new seal is interfering with the old. It has in effect destabilized your chakra. Your control must be even worse than when you were in the academy the only reason you can now do any Jutsu is because of the sheer amount of Chakra you possess."

"So I wasn't just imagining it." Naruto said absently while rubbing the back of his head.

The Hokage just let out a sigh, definitely not the sharpest kunai in the pouch. "Naruto from now on if there is anything wrong at all with the seal, if you feel there is anything wrong with your chakra if you have even the slightest doubt about something you need to come find me."

"Okay." He replied a sounding a little down.

"Now I can keep the new seal on but it most will most likely keep you from ever progressing past the rank of Genin."

"What! But old man I'm going to be the next Hokage!" Naruto all but screamed from the top of his lungs.

Holding up his hands in a placating gesture the Hokage continued. "Or I can remove it and you can continue to train with Ebisu for the exams."

"Getitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoff!"He yelled pulling up his shirt.

"Alright focus your chakra and keep it at a steady flow." As soon as Naruto closed his eyes to concentrate on his chakra a pressure started to build in the room. The amount that he had at his disposal was staggering.

Holding his hand outstretched with his fingers splayed Sarutobi too started to focus. As he did so with unerring skill and control at the end of each finger a small purple flame came to life. He set his glowing fingers upon each mark of the five elements seal branded onto Naruto and focused. "Release."

Like he had been in the stomach he had he exhaled loudly and doubled over. "Oooooow. That hurt old man."

"What's the saying 'No pain no gain'." A laugh almost on his lips.

Checking himself out to make sure the old man's super touch of pain had made no permanent marks he found himself even when controlling chakra to be free of the new seal. "Yeah yeah. So I'm good to go?"

"Yes, you may resume training with Ebisu." Said the Hokage as he was briefly looking through some files on his desk.

"See ya later. I'll treat you to some ramen." The blonde said as he ran through the door and started dragging his tutor off.

"My foolish student, what are you scheming?" Sarutobi's words went unnoticed by all as he stared out his window.

* * *

"Alright so let's pick up where we left off." Ebisu said standing at the bank of the little pond they had commandeered.

"Okay here we go." The young genin said as he prepared himself for the trial ahead, and the possibility of getting wet again. He already has his chakra focused and took his first exploratory step onto the water. His foot met water but as he applied more of his weight it stayed on the surface. With all his weight resting on the top of the water he took a step then another and another till he was standing on top of knee deep water. "Yes fear my awesome power!" He yelled as he threw his hands up in victory.

Quite extraordinary, it took most people a day or so to get that far. With only an hour of practice he had picked it up and for most of that hour he had the control of a six year old. It appeared that he excelled when doing practical training. But enough of that it was time to bring him down. "Tree walking is an introductory level chakra exercise easy enough so genin straight out of the academy can pick it up without too much difficulty. Water walking is a basic level skill. Now that you can do both you may now be considered a real Genin."

"What?!" Tree walking was a pain in the ass, falling hurt. And walking on water was more difficult.

"Quite frankly I'm surprised Kakashi hasn't shown you this already. Maybe it's so basic he thought you already knew it? I had planned to show Konohamaru tree walking in a few weeks, and then this. But never mind, now to the next part of the exercise, jump."

Here he was standing on freekin water and this guy was saying it was no big deal?! And now he wanted him to jump. This was going to be a very long month. "Jump?"

"Yes, during a mission you may need to walk or run on water. You may need to jump onto or from water. You must be able to do everything you can do on dry land on water. Understanding how your balance and weight distribution changes from land to water is very important."

"But why? I can walk and stand, can't we move on to some cool Jutsu?"

"Doing something and doing something efficiently are completely different. Look at your feet. Do you see those big ripples your making?" Naruto looked down at his feet. There were small waves being pushed out from under him as he bobbed ever so slightly on the surface of the pond. "That means you are using too much. Jumping up and down will get you used to finding the balance. Now jump."

* * *

**Hours later.**

"Good I feel that made some progress. We have a long way to go before you can be considered even a halfway decent Genin, but I'm sure by a months' time we shall be there." Ebisu said offhandedly while looking at the form of Naruto sprawled out on the ground panting. Jumping around for hours on end can be a bit demanding.

His legs were on fire, his lungs were on fire, his throat was on fire. Ebisu would too be on fire if Naruto knew any fire Jutsu. "Slave driver." He got out between breaths.

"Meet me here tomorrow at eight, we will continue this for a few hours then work on physical conditioning." He said before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

"I'm too tired to even care anymore."

* * *

The door slowly swung open letting out a high pitched squeak all the while. "Ugh, what did I get myself into?" He said as he shuffled into his ratty apartment. Stopping to look at the dirty kitchenette he was forced to come to a decision. "Food? No too tired, just sleep." He mumbled to himself.

Forcing his legs to keep moving he labored into his bedroom. Clothes everywhere, bed unmade, some sort of mold growing in one corner of the ceiling. It was a shit hole. It was paradise. He flopped onto the unkempt bed and his eyelids closed sluggishly. Damn it, he had to set his alarm to get up for tomorrow. Begrudgingly he used the last of his energy to open his eyes.

What he saw was not the inside of his bedroom. "So we meet again little flesh bag." An overpowering voice said its echo ringing off into the distance.

* * *

A/N

Well here's another story. Writing is hard.


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